love your way

Physical touch is a strange bird, isn’t it? I can go from being a hugger to an angry cat at touch. I have girl friends who love to squeal and hug and lay on one another’s laps and play with each other’s hair. I was like that too. I’m not sure what changed, but I don’t appreciate platonic puddles of cuddles anymore.

I have a few friends I don’t mind touching my hair or pseudo-cudding with a blanket for a movie, but strangers? No.

When I was in college, I wrote story after story about the connections I made with strangers. I held hands with my friends and we sometimes shared twin beds and it wasn’t a big deal.

But we moved at a strange time.

I didn’t let anyone in Texas into the “circle of trust” until recently. Now it feels like we’re too old to braid each other’s hair. When does a logical reason for sharing a twin bed come up after college?

I’ll never be the girl who wants to trade shoes and share clothes. I have immutable boundaries.

But it’s not weird to hug someone or share a love seat during a movie. The more you shudder at touch and withdraw from people who want to be close to you, the farther they’ll get.

Damn it, planning this wedding is turning me into a mushy ball of goo.

Image: Illustration Booth

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