I am an only child. I was going to be successful, damnit.
My mom sent me to summer camp after summer camp, some of which were for fun, others for education. One particular summer program was at a college in Ohio studying Criminal Forensic Science. I watched a lot of CSI. I wasn’t into science, but I did want to be the one to “rush order the DNA sample” or whatever…I’m not an officer, give me a break…it’s more dramatic with background music.
I had just begun my love affair with cigarettes and there were two other smokers there in the group of 17-year-olds. Wait, three, but one of them just kept bumming cigarettes off of me and not inhaling…which is better for her health but terrible for me and my inability to refill my supply at 17.
I instantly bonded with both of the other smokers, as is usually the case. One of them became my best friend for the next couple of years and the other is still an acquaintance, but it was mainly one of those hyper-real-summer-friendships. I didn’t know that at the time.
The latter chick found out she was pregnant at camp. I remember walking into her room and finding her a crumpled ball of tears and mascara. She came from a conservative family from Pakistan and she kept saying, “No, you don’t understand, my dad is going to kill me.”
It didn’t take her long to decide that she wasn’t ready to be a mother. I didn’t say much. I was firmly pro-life at the time. I debated regularly against pro-choicers and I couldn’t understand a situation where it would be necessary or justified.
Until I saw the look on her face. I imagined myself in that position and I couldn’t say for certain what I would have done. I understood the beauty of choice. She later spoke of regretting her decision, but she couldn’t say for certain whether or not she made the right choice because now she’s a college graduate, now she’s getting married, now she’s closer to ready to be a mom and a baby fits in this picture. But it’s not the picture she would have had.
Abortion is such a tough issue, but as Obama so gracefully put it, No one is pro-abortion. There’s only anti-choice and pro-choice. Pro-lifers tend to play for the Republican party who generally support military endeavors, including the last two “excursions” in Iraq, and the death penalty. Pro-life means just that. You are against death in all of its forms.
So, you see, the scales are fixed. “Pro-life” vs. “Pro-Abortion”…which one has a better ring to it?
I wanted to take on this topic today because of one decision being made shortly in Texas.
Republican Governor Rick Perry has recently moved a bill to “emergency status,” pushing it to the front of legislation before impending budget cuts and issues in education that are to be decided. That bill is the requirement of all women who wish to have an abortion to have a sonogram and hear the heartbeat of the baby before they are allowed the procedure.
First. Let’s talk to the easiest and most practical, rational aspect of the consequences of this bill. The statistics Governor Perry is using to further his agenda include more than 90% of women who hear the heartbeat of the baby will choose not to have an abortion. There are approximately 82,000 women that have abortions every year in the state of Texas. He calls it “saving 82,000 lives.” From a practicality standpoint alone – Texas has the second highest percentage of children living with food insecurity (meaning they don’t know where their next meal is coming from) at 24.3%.
Do we really want to shame women into adding to those numbers despite being unable, unfit or unwilling to provide for a child? Oh wait, the law says a woman “may look away,” but she must sign an affidavit saying she heard the heartbeat and heard the sonogram being described to her including how many fingers and toes the baby has.
I know, I know, it’s sticky. I don’t claim it to be a black and white issue. If anything, the entire debate resides in grey-land.
I’m sure you understand the violation of women’s rights in this issue. Make it legal or illegal, but don’t say, “You can have one, but not before we scar you for your whole lives.” Obesity is the number one killer in America, why not make people take a body fat index test before they’re allowed to order a cheeseburger?
At least that would be a non-invasive procedure.
The sonogram a woman seeking an abortion must have is not the jelly-on-the-belly sonogram. It’s a transvaginal ultrasound which means the law could require a doctor to place a good-sized wand inside of a woman.
That’s the most intrusive procedure I can imagine, how about you?
I’m hardly enraged by political decisions. I hardly use the word enraged. But I was fuming on my drive into work today.
I have to say in the interest of full-disclosure that, barring an extremely unusual circumstance, I would not have an abortion. But I’m 23. When I was 15, 16, 17…I don’t know. I couldn’t tell you. Neither could Rick Perry because he’s a man. No one hopes for more abortions. We can hope for better sex education for children and teens (I had none, not a single class), we can hope for less rape and incest in America and we can hope to God that this law doesn’t go through with all of its invasive measures and emotional consequences.
Read more from the news.
Image: Created by the Pro-Choice Public Education Project and found via Daily Haps
{ 31 comments… read them below or add one }
I could go on and on about this, but i just want to say that this part… “Neither could Rick Perry because he is a man” is awesome.
Why are unauthorized decision-makers (aka the 77% the photo mentions above) declaring what goes inside a Texan woman’s body? If the legislators want to get tough on abortion, I say we get tough on male rapists and just chop the damn thing off. Sounds like an even trade.
Exactly. If there’s going to be a committee to decide, it should be all women, all who have been pregnant and have either decided to terminate or have children. Those are the only people qualified to make a decision like this and I believe, ultimately, those women would choose choice for everyone, even the conservative ones…because once you take that away…it’s a slippery slope.
Good and informative post (although I am across the pond) and I will remember that quote ‘no one is pro abortion’
Thanks, Amma. I appreciate you checking in on the issues going on here!
I agree – I hadn’t heard that “no one is pro-abortion” quote before, but now it’s one of my favorites. I also love what you wrote about obesity: “Obesity is the number one killer in America, why not make people take a body fat index test before they’re allowed to order a cheeseburger?” At least that requirement makes sense!
Not that I didn’t adore you before, but I can’t tell you how much I respect you at this moment. You and Obama are absolutely right-no one is pro-abortion. But giving women the opportunity to make that decisions (and treating us like whole people, not flighty fliberteegibbets who’ll ultimately regret terminating a pregnancy, and so should be stopped from ever making that mistake in the first place) seems like a no-brainer to me.
The abortion debate is never easy, but I can’t understand taking a choice away that women have had for decades, or manipulating Roe v. Wade in that way. Oh, Texas.
OH, Texas, indeed. He called Roe v. Wade a “tragedy.” Yes, giving women full reign over their bodies is a tragedy, I forgot it’s the 1800′s. Between this and the vote to take away funding for Planned Parenthood, you would think it was a serious time to take things back to before Women’s Lib. I’m getting very angry that people don’t know more about this, aren’t doing enough to stop it and aren’t screaming from the mountaintops that these are RIDICULOUS changes!
“I’m sure you understand the violation of women’s rights in this issue. Make it legal or illegal, but don’t say, “You can have one, but not before we scar you for your whole lives.” Obesity is the number one killer in America, why not make people take a body fat index test before they’re allowed to order a cheeseburger?”
Perfection.
And what the jack-asses don’t get is that any woman who decides to have an abortion? That woman will already be scarred for a long time to come, heart beat or no.
Fucking idiots.
Sorry, but they are!
Don’t you ever, EVER apologize for dropping an F-bomb on this blog. Ha! never.
Yes, they are fucking idiots. I thought that all morning, but I thought I had to compose myself to get my point across in the post, ha….What’s sad and weird and pathetic is that these political issues are affecting my relationship right now…I get home and I’m just so frustrating and angry and I feel helpless….that I scream at Isaiah the first time Netflix needs to reload or I spill a little something or whatever…I’m just furious all the time. They don’t even affect me PERSONALLY. I don’t use Planned Parenthood for anything. I don’t have a choice to make right now. But I’m furious in women’s stead. The women who aren’t paying attention or who are blinded by the lies that this is “for their own good.”
Thank you for this, especially for describing your personal experience and shift in understanding about having access to abortions. I’m almost to tired to fume anymore. What’s happening across this country is sick and it’s making me sick just thinking about it.
Of course…I’m too tired as well, lady. I spent most of yesterday just…upset. About things I can’t change myself at that! That’s just circular, you know?! Yikes.
What’s really interesting about this is how the debate always seems to be powered by what men want and never by what women need, and it doesn’t seem to matter which direction the choice goes.
I have a friend whom I met in high school. She had a jerk of a boyfriend from the eighth grade through our freshman year of college. At least, she thought she had a boyfriend. He, on the other hand, kept going around telling everyone they had broken up (again) so that he had an excuse to hit on, date and have sex with other girls. He also liked to make her look hysterical when she was weeping over how he ditched her on prom night and other fun things like that.
In the fall of our freshman year, my friend found herself pregnant. Her lovely boyfriend told everyone that she had poked holes in the condoms, that she was trying to “trap” him to keep him from breaking up with her for good. My boyfriend at the time (not Tony) was best friends with my friend and her “boyfriend,” and together we had gone to plenty of pro-choice marches, so I was shocked when my boyfriend told my friend (who had a mother who was so Catholic she had a shrine in the house) that she had to get an abortion.
My friend felt completely betrayed by these men who were supposed to love her. Instead of supporting her decision, her CHOICE, they insisted that she follow a path that was not in her best interests and broke her heart over and over again. In the end, she chose to give up her child for adoption, but the guys’ insistence on abortion broke both couples up. There wasn’t any WAY I wanted to find myself in a similar position with someone who would not stand by me if I happened to choose to have a baby (which would have been my choice), and I didn’t trust my boyfriend to have my interests at heart.
Oh man, thanks for sharing that story, Sarah…you know…I kind of feel like it’s one of those situations where it turns out ugly either way if you’re SCREAMING about one way or another, you know? It feels like one of those things where you have to just be open to everyone’s opinions, but in the end stay firm in what you believe. Choice isn’t about recommending or forcing abortions, what?! It’s sad how twisted things get…then you’re not dealing with the issue itself, but the distorted, big-bad-wolf version of those issues.
There was something almost as ridiculous being put on the table in Georgia, but I don’t want to comment on it, until I can find a link for it.
Logically speaking, how is this going decrease the number of abortions? If a woman wants to have an abortion, she is going to do it outside of the Texas boarder. If I was dead-set on doing this procedure, I’d make an appointment at a clinic in a neighboring state. So, really all this law will do is decrease the number of abortions in Texas but increase them everywhere else. Great plan.
I think there should be less focus on abortion and, like you said, more focus on education. There should be sex ed in schools with information on contraceptives and parents need to start talking to their kids about sex too! I grew up with a European mother. Sex was openly discussed in my house. I knew the actual mechanics of baby-making at 6. SIX! Between more parent involvement and a cohesive sexual education curriculum, hopefully the number of unwanted pregnancies will go down, resulting in less abortions.
WOW! I think you may have gotten lucky, Ariella..My mom never talked about sex with me and I never had a sex-education course. It’s only by the freaking-grace-of-God that I didn’t get pregnant or worse. How can we POSSIBLY be pushing to have sex-ed taken out of schools right now and abstinence training put in!? I had abstinence training! And God-forbid kids have the teenage years I had!
Abstinence education is ignorance…It’s ignoring the fact that some kids WILL break the “covenant,” especially non-religious kids! What’s their motivation to stay abstinent, you know? America…what are you DOING!?
Can you imagine how much more productive the Government would be if they stayed away from personal issues like this one and gay marriage and focused on issues that actually impact how a country or state functions?! You are right, this situation is enraging. It is completely arrogant for any woman and especially any man to try to suggest they understand what it is like to find themselves in the situation of an unwanted pregnancy. I can easily say I wouldn’t get an abortion but like you said I am not 15 nor was I raped by my uncle. All I know is I am glad to have the choice either way. In my opinion the only thing worse than being faced with an unwanted pregnancy, is being an unwanted child. The only thing I wish would happen is that instead of fighting about abortion we start educating people not only on safe sex but the ramifications of an abortion if that is what is decided. I have had a few friends who faced the issue and had no idea how absolutely depressed and anguished they would feel once it was over (and for years after wards!). In the case of younger girls who get pregnant, they might see it as the easy way out but I think they need to know how hard it is and get some support. And in terms of the girls in terrible situations like rape or incest, the guilt over an abortion could push them over the edge. It isn’t the government’s place to judge people, they should be doing more to support and educate. Alright Lizzie, now you have me enraged!
I wish I could “like” this comment, Alicia. I’m trying to contain myself, because I’ll just go on and on again. So I’m just going to say, “ditto.”
I’m with you, Ariella.
Alicia, this comment is so bitchin’ I read it out loud to Isaiah. He kept nodding and saying “YES YES YES.” “The guilt over an abortion could push them over the edge.” EXACTLY.
Here’s the logic, let’s see if we can straighten it out:
1. Take away sex-education in schools and replace with abstinence “training.”
2. Take away crucial funding for Planned Parenthood to deliver low-cost birth control and family planning to low-income women.
3. Leave abortions legal, but make sure a woman gets sexually violated with a forced sonogram and shamed into hearing every detail about what she’s doing to a “little baby.”
Where does that leave us? I predict poverty will skyrocket, children living in food insecurity with skyrocket and at-home-unsafe abortions will rise.
That’s not an America I want to live in…and what about the men? What are their consequences?
Thank you for calling the men into question…. this issue is so important because of what is says about us as individuals and as a society. I have a couple of points that I’d like to get your opinion on:
1. Where are the parents who think that Abstinence only education is utter rubbish? I’m Christian and I think it is foolish and dangerous. I want a poll of all of those politicians who have practiced abstinence. Show of hands will do… oh no one,? Not even one? The hypocrisy is what is putting kids in danger…
2. I completely agree with Alicia; all the choices in the situation are tough. Unfortunately I feel like certain “values and morals” are being legislated into the fabric of society. That’s not what the books says…
3. Do fathers have any rights in the situation?
Mom wants the baby, dad doesn’t, dad has to pay child support.
Dad wants the baby, mom doesn’t, abortion or adoption?
How about this, any man who can prove a woman is carrying his child (via DNA) can block an abortion but must compensate the mother as if she were a gestational surrogate?
4. The only way human beings can live in a society together is by acknowledging that the rights of others must at times infringe on our own wants, needs and rights.
5. That being said this law being proposed in Texas is despicable and we should all march in protest. I’m serious about this. Organize it and I will come.
This infuriates me. Fists clenched into balls. I very nearly don’t have words left anymore, not with hit after hit after hit coming like this. But I will say this: I don’t understand why the party of “small government” — the party that wants to strip federal funding from Planned Parenthood — would then turn around and sink money into these invasive medical procedures. Ostensibly to the tune of 82,000 times per year. What. The. Fuck.
I’ll say one more thing: thanks for posting this.
Thanks, Lyn. I literally….couldn’t think of anything else yesterday. I couldn’t function, I couldn’t hardly breathe…I was so fuming upset and felt so helpless….EXACTLY. EXACTLY. And the party of “small-government” is the one who abandons these kids when their born into poverty because of lack of education, lack of birth control and lack of access to the LEGAL procedure. No more welfare! Everyone’s taking advantage! Universal healthcare?! THAT’S INSANE! No more taxes on the wealthy, let us have our money!
You put the people on the streets, you should be the one who has to clothe them.
You know, the part I find the most fucking stupid about this is, the safest time for a woman to have an abortion is in the first trimester. Preferably, early in the first trimester. Not to say it can’t be done in the second, but go too long and it requires a D&E, which is painful, invasive, and scarring (physically and emotionally).
So, um, what you’re saying, Gov. Perry, is that you’re going to make women WAIT UNTIL IT’S MORE DANGEROUS (it’s still not THAT dangerous, but you see what I mean) to have an abortion, so you can lecture them on how many fingers and toes the fetus has?
It just doesn’t make any fucking sense. Aaaaand I’m pretty sure it goes against Roe. But then again conservatives have been trying to force the issue back to the Supreme Court for years now, hoping that it gets overturned.
Yes. It’s ridiculous. He called Roe v. Wade the greatest tragedy…which I find offensive to those who have actually experienced tragedies.
Beyond that, in digging backwards through his legislation, I found through a friend that he tried to pass a bill early on in his governorship that required WOMEN ONLY between the ages of 13 and 21 to have all three vaccinations for HPV. Another “We’re doing this because it’s the right choice for you and you haven’t made it” decision. Turns out later they found out he got paid a TON by the pharmaceutical companies to push the drug on girls. THIS is the guy we’re allowing to decide what goes into our bodies. This is the guy who runs the “great state of Texas.”
Well said. And there are loads of rants that I could go on, but mostly what touched me is the statement by Obama about pro-abortion vs pro-choice.
I understand, Jo. That was one of my favorite ways to put the debate…I can’t believe no one said it sooner.
So disturbing….I could go on but I believe my rant would extend your comments section to outlandish proportions. *sigh*
Ha! You’re always welcome to extend the comment section beyond where no comment section has ever gone before! That got a little out of hand…but really, don’t worry, lady, I’d love to hear what you have to say!
so well said, Lizzie. the last paragraph is so perfect too. this whole debate does reside in such a gray area. who decided they knew what was best for everyone? cough cough ::white men::: cough cough. oops, must be my flu acting up. but seriously, wouldn’t it be different if women were saying this? someone who could actually have this procedure done? I would still be very pro-choice but it would spin things differently. also, I had to get one of those “inside wand” ultrasounds when I knew I was losing the baby. it would be awful to enforce that on people. thanks for tackling such a touchy subject so wonderfully. props, lady.
Ha! I know what you mean. Oh no…I’m so sorry you had to go through that, Lisa. I know it would be terrible to force women, especially women who were raped or victims of incest to go through that against their will. You are more than welcome, lady and thanks so much.
No woman deserves to be raped by the state, which is exactly what this is. Sorry for the graphic analogy but forcing a woman to have a physically, psychologically and emotionally invasive act performed on her against her will, solely for exercising her legal rights, is one of the most immoral and offensive things I could imagine. I live in Texas and this whole thing scares, worries and embarrasses me.
EXACTLY. I was thinking it…I just didn’t say it. It is rape. Rape with medical equipment. I know how it goes, lady. I moved here within the last 3-4 years and it’s been scary how many scary bills Rick Perry has tried to put through!