Do you remember when Abby was a sweet, tiny, adorable little puppy? Yeah, that was like…two weeks ago. The tables have turned. They turned hard.
Abby is a little, tiny terror sent straight from hell to fill our lives with poop and bite marks. I’m kind of kidding. She’s still completely adorable and every once in a while, when she’s fought until her eyes start to droop, she’ll sleep with her head on your arm while you’re trying to work and that’s kind of cute.
But mainly, she has ripped a hole in the carpet in the center of the room. She gnawed on the leg of my desk until wood chips were lying around it on the ground. She fights loudly with Vinny all day until I finally give in and scream, “SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP! EVERYONE STOP YELLING!” and the dogs just stare at me with their tongues out, confused. They know what they did…
It has me feeling very insecure about my ability to be a nurturing mother someday. But a kid of mine won’t be chewing on carpet and table legs, right? I won’t have to be constantly running around with a steam cleaner picking up tiny and epic piles of poo and wet spots, right? Because I know she might look cute…but she’s the anti-cute when you spend all day staring at baseball-sized mounds of poo in your otherwise-clean house.
Have I mentioned she’s not our dog? Yeah.
And don’t go all, “But she’s so cute!” on me…This is like that time your friend got dumped and you were supposed to be all, “But he was a total ass, honey.” Tell me she looks like a mirror-image of Lucifer.
{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
I had a dog like this that actually was my dog. She completely tore the stuffing out of my couch! In the end, we had to get rid of her. Oh, and kids are a breeze compared to some animals I know.
Oh man, the couch…that might be the end for me. I didn’t think I could ever get rid of an animal until Lucy the Bunny…She was a huge raging bitch, so she needed another home.
dude, some dogs just aren’t a good fit. that said, having TWO AT ONCE (what are you doing – dogsitting? is this a temporary arrangement?) is COMPLETELY OVERWHELMING, especially when you haven’t got Vinnsters to be a perfect angel muffin just yet. We’ve had our two dogs for less than 8 months and I have moments where I am completely in love with them and can’t imagine our life without them, and then I have moments – like this past weekend, where I’d dropped them off with my parents for the weekend so we could leave town, but I had a couple hours of quiet, dog-free house – where I think peace and quiet is the best thing ever
It’s GOT to be different with babies. Unless you and I both have some post-partum tendencies (I’m kind of scared that might be part of it! aaaahhhh!)
Anyhoodle, same boat, sister. I am never fooled by a cute face.
I feel you. Vinny is our perfect little angel now – only one that still poos in the house and digs through the garbage every day. Mostly, he’s a fantastic little companion these days. But I went through the post-partum phase BAD lady. BAD. I hated him for a while.
Abby is my mom’s dog. We live in my mom’s “guest house” for now. She works a lot. All those ingredients = we watch Abby every day for at least a little bit. She’s great, mostly. Actually, no. She’s great when she’s sleeping. But we still adore her and she’s only 8 weeks old…so she absolutely needs training and discipline and blah blah. Mainly, she looks like an adorable mop, so even when you’re super pissed at her, she’s still as cute as can be so it’s impossible to be FURIOUS.
But damn. Girl chewed our COFFEE TABLE LAST NIGHT. WTF!
Our dog was a pretty serious chewer for the first few months. She chewed our hands (not hard, but hard enough to hurt at times), she chewed up the sides of a couple of our entryways, she chewed on table legs. And when we tried to exert some control, she turned into a little devil dog. I had moments of wondering where the hell this was leading to. Luckily she did out-grow most of it by about 5-6 months. Not sure if it was our efforts or what, but now she is actually a pretty good dog (if you ignore the jumping up on people and the stealing of food wherever she can).
I wish you luck… and patience. A lot of patience.
Vinny chews our hands a lot – play-biting – but it hurts, yo! Thanks for the patience! We’re doing our best, ha.
Oh Christ-there’s no amount redeeming cute when you have a giant hole in your rug. WHY WOULD THAT BE YUMMY OR SATISFYING? I imagine you could could a much better chew on an edge.
EXACTLY MY POINT. Why the center of the carpet!? Not even a RUG that has an end…the carpet…which is glued and nailed to the floor. WTF?
i suck. i have been in a fog and have not visited your amazing and favorite blog in waaaay too long. abby is adorable! vinny is still so handsome.
i share your exhaustion in pet / life balance. it sometimes is insanity. but when i pet my pets, i get why they call them pets. the petting makes me calm and happy and stress free. they rock my world.
oh lizzie. i love how often you say fuck. your blog rocks. more visits for sure.
xoxo
b
OH NOOOOO no worries, Bianca. I know you have a TON going on! Chickens! Puppy! Moving! Huuuuge, life-changing things. No worries.
Seriously, read some Patricia McConnell. Seeeeeriously. (I know you’re not *always* a fan of unsolicited advice
but I gotta think that you want the situation to be different, so you’re looking for advice at least on some level?) “The Other End of the Leash” was HUGELY helpful in figuring out how to communicate as clearly as possible with our new furry charge when we adopted him, but any of her books would be helpful, I bet. And yes, I will talk her up given any opportunity. She’s that awesome.
Very cool, I’ll definitely check that out. Vinny especially lately has been spending a couple days spread out just staring at me…barking, whining, pawing at my leg…no amount of taking him out, feeding him, treats, playtime, petting, talking will fix it. Sounds like we could use that book.
She’s the evil incarnate! Heh. Sending you all the best in taming that wild pup.
HA! Thanks, Lyn.
Believe me, I totally understand. My cats drive me equally crazy, especially when they fight or when Marty (my black and white cat) decides to break things and knock things off my nightstand in the middle of the night just to get my attention.
Maybe Abby needs more time outdoors running around?
She gets outside playtime with Vinny 10-15 minutes every two hours or so – and then they play inside ALL day. She’s an active little puppy…she just loves chewing. Blegh.
{ 2 trackbacks }