Think for Yourself, You Fucking Hipster

by lizzie & isaiah on February 13, 2012 · 14 comments

I went through this phase once. I wouldn’t listen to bands other people listened to. Any brand name or new clothing I had stuck out that year in my closet. I was a vegetarian. I dreamed day and night of living in Portland. I was undeniably hipster and called out on it for the majority of 2007. The memory seems faint and ridiculous to me now.

Vegetarianism is not ridiculous. Thrifting isn’t ridiculous. Listening to unknown, local indie bands isn’t ridiculous. But before I did each of those things at the time, I thought about their perception.

And now. Now, nothing fucking annoys me more than a group of thoughtless hipsters who drink PBR ironically, listen to the latest in the indie phenomenon and loudly talk about how weird their taste is. “Yeah man, I don’t really care if plaid’s not in style or if kids make fun of my loafers, I’m just doing me.” Really? Plaid is totally in style. Every fucktard on the block is decked out in plaid and Tom’s.

No matter what style you fall under, whether you’re deliberately trying to fit in with a certain style or you are being yourself and happen to match it, there’s a blueprint for each category of person and you’re bound to fit within it. But the point of “hipsterdom” is being yourself. Or, at least it was, right? Don’t go along with the mainstream society of meateaters, be a vegan. Don’t buy new, buy antique. Blah blah blah.

It’s time to admit that hipsterdom is the mainstream. You’re vegan because it’s hip to be. You’re a thrifter because it’s hip to be. You wear plaid and a full beard because it’s hip.

You keep thinking that people don’t “get you” and your oh-so-unique style with your Mumford and Sons and your beach cruiser bike. But they do. They get you. You’re just not that interesting. 

If something you like happens to fall into the realm of hipsterdom, awesome, love it. No problems. If something’s been dubbed lame or you, like, really love meat, do that. If you like Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch in a totally embarrassing, non-ironic way, do you, man, do you. 

But seriously, for the sake of your future children, quit following trends blindly…even trends that claim to be offbeat and unique…because they’re not. I’m pretty sure that the man-scarf-with-a-tshirt look is the parachute pant of our day.

Photo: threadless t-shirt design

{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

Erin February 13, 2012 at 9:34 am

BAHAHAHAa. And this, “But they do. They get you. You’re just not that interesting.” So true. Thanks for the laughs this morning :)

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lizzie & isaiah February 13, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Ha, thanks Erin. :]

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Alice February 13, 2012 at 9:36 am

I <3 hipster rants. It makes me go all warm and fuzzy inside. You should make it a weekly thing…. I can't think of a better way to start the week. My favorite is hipster parents…. the cliched hipster gear + baby gear is the saddest combo ever. It makes them look so old and delusional. I also derive pleasure from thinking how much their kiddos are going to hate them the second they're old enough to perceive what's going on.

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lizzie & isaiah February 13, 2012 at 9:46 pm

Thanks, Alice. OH, I KNOW. Hipster parents.

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Heather February 13, 2012 at 9:37 am

Love it! (As I’m listening to Glee on Pandora, which I’m sure, is SO UNCOOL)

Oh well, fuck it.
I still don’t want to eat meat though :P

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lizzie & isaiah February 13, 2012 at 9:51 pm

It’s all personal preference, ha. :]

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katieprue February 13, 2012 at 2:59 pm

That’s the great thing about growing up, as each year comes along and flies away, it’s easier and easier for me to be my lame-ass self and fully enjoy it without worrying about “Is this cool enough?” “Am I the first one to discover this?” Oh how I wish I could reclaim all that time I spent agonizing over image and being cool and just DO something productive!

PS I think this is my first comment, and I just have to say that any blog that throws around the phrase “you fucking hipster” will have my readership!

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lizzie & isaiah February 13, 2012 at 10:36 pm

EXACTLY. If I hadn’t wasted so much time engrossed in hipster-dom, I could have taken one or two of Adele’s grammies! Chickadee is young!

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kc February 13, 2012 at 5:00 pm

Oh man, you know what I don’t get? Fixed gear bicycles. I just don’t understand it. Especially when I see people riding them on the street IN TRAFFIC. Seriously, ride it in a park somewhere where you can look cool and do tricks but stay off the damn road. (I may have strong feelings about this :) )

I remember when indie was alternative and hipsters were grunge (and everyone still wore plaid). Ah, youth.

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lizzie & isaiah February 13, 2012 at 10:41 pm

Haha. Exactly. I know what you’re saying. I have a thing about people who want “cool” transportation in general. I’m a big fan of ugly, dirty, WORKING public transit. That everyone can use…not massive bike lanes for people who live a reasonable distance from their destinations, but take up space on the road…not trolleys that are cute and adorable, but again, not functional for commuters. GR!

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Joyce March 6, 2012 at 5:59 am

I don’t live in an urban environment where people on bikes use the main roads and because I am morally averse to things that could potentially end my life prematurely (read: riding a bike in heavy traffic) I have no knowledge of why a fixed gear would be more or less annoying than the other kind of bike. But, if I were to own a bike again, it would be a something like a beach cruiser (that is a fixed gear, yes?). Why? Because of my aversion to premature death. See, I learned that you back pedal to stop a bike. It is ingrained in me. When you try that on a gear bike, nothing happens. And then, there I go, careening out into traffic, trees, and at any rate, certain doom. So, for people such as myself – gears are the devil. I just thought I would share.

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lizzie & isaiah March 9, 2012 at 4:48 pm

Stick to the side roads and you’ll be just fine, Joyce. Ha :)

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The Thirty-Something Bride February 19, 2012 at 8:12 am

I love beach cruiser bikes because that’s what I grew up riding in Hawaii. It’s really all that were available, in my memory. Their big, fat tires made them good for the sand. The seats were comfy. The knobs on the tires allowed you to “pack,” meaning your friend could stand on the knobs and you could lug them around too. They were practical then, now they are cool. Does that make me a hipster or a wanna be? Or just old? ;)

I think that any trend, any group of people who come together because they feel “misunderstood” is simple human nature. At some point in life, everyone feels scared, alone, left out, rejected, ugly, fat, lame. Stepping out of the mainstream gives a person something of their own. Others see it, relate and step out too. The next thing you know, it’s a lot of people stepping out because whether we like it or not, everyone wants to belong. To something.

It’s particular brand of stepping out (hipsters now, punk rockers in the 70/80′s, grunge in the 90′s, hippies in the 60/70′s, beatniks/greasers of the 50′s) and at some point, it just gets old. When that happens, a new group will emerge.

It’s one of the hardest things for me to maintain as I get older – my sense of me, what I like and don’t like and being able to admit it. I asked The Candyman what he thought was the cheesiest thing that I LOVE. In less than a heartbeat he said, “The whole Twilight thing. I mean Jesus Christ, Louise. What are you? 13?” And he’s right. I love all things Twilight. I’m on Team Edward and PROUD OF IT.

My thoughts.

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lizzie & isaiah March 9, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Not at ALL. It makes you a legit beach cruiser-lova.

That’s the point of hipsterdom. Beach cruiser bikes don’t mean anything to anyone else, ha. I had one for a year and that shit is way hard to ride in a city.

I love that – “My sense of me”

I am going through this now, for the first time. Fighting for what makes me, me … and none of those things match up with any one fad.

Serious – how come, “all of a sudden” – it’s “so you” to have a beard, wear ’20′s garb and straight-leg jeans, Toms, on your bike, eat vegan, listen to mopey acoustic dudes who also share your same sense of style and beardiness.

C’mon.

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